Life Directions: Bullying

This shit pisses me off like nothing else. And it kinda hit close to home, I would've been that boy if I wasn't from buffalo. Lol seriously, I was fat and insecure and probably came off scary most of the time. But I was never scared to fight. But what if they thought I was? What would I do? Like, even if you can fight, 5 dudes on 1? Heh, If you are not Jackie chan or will smith in Hancock you done. And as a kid you think stupid like "ight if I don't fight back they'll stop soon". Nope. People prey on the weak, but as a kid you haven't learned that yet. So it's two ways it's gonna go. 

You're either going to get tougher from it and grown up to be a thug. Thug, but if the bullying is in a more suburban area you can join the military. But more than likely, Nah. You're a  local rapper. Tough local rapper that works at sears auto center. With a baby mama, that can't stand you. Bc you were controlling and aggressive. Subconsciously it's right to you because you were use to getting mollywhopped everyday .

Or..

You can let it consume you and turn you into a punk. Just a scary lil nigga, walk with your head down everywhere you go. Might even become gay bc on some weird scientific psychological shit. You were stimulated from them man handling you everyday. You secretly enjoyed it. Now you switch ya hips and do hair out the hood. 

Crazy right.. 

Those are some harsh realities, but you really have to go on those routes or something similar. Thats if you're weak. If you're not weak. You will find a way to overcome it, and make your life directions on your own. Maybe become rich and have enough respect that nobody will ever think of hitting you again. 

Did you figure out which route you will take? You had to really think about that right? Now think, a 13yr old just getting hair on his balls has to figure that out on his own. Not happening.

Best way to get kids getting bullied on the right path, is self defense and education. Education in school will make them intelligent enough to realize they should never be getting bullied. Then self defense, self defense will help... Well that's self explanatory 

So yea, bullying is disgusting. 

Clearly I am bored And light years away from sobriety. So if none of this made sense, my bad. I just felt like writing.

Sex on Pedestal

It's a rainy spring day evening in Virginia, the fan is blowing, drake take care is playing out the speakers. And my bed? It couldn't feel any more relaxing. That has nothing to do with this blog, just wanted to paint that picture so y'all can understand why this blog was even written. 

I wanted to talk about sex, sex sex sex that's all people think about. Don't get me wrong, sex is the second best thing after fried chicken fresh out the grease. But it's to the point that people put it on a pedestal, and quite frankly it is annoying. Yes as a man I love sex, yes most likely I will have sex with you if you're a woman I'm attracted to. But damn, that's all you think I want? Is your perception of men that fucked up that you think that's all any of us want? That's a pretty ignorant generalization if you ask me. I know that's what y'all want to believe but sorry, not all of us are the same. Sex isn't hard to get, after a while you start to want more. It happens. At least it happened to me. Of course telling a woman that sounds like game, because they think that's all we think about. Why can't I just want companionship? A female to talk to and care about? Is that hard to grasp and believe as the truth? In today's time, it is. When you don't just want sex, you're automatically categorized as a "b*tch" for the lack of better words. That's how it works now, you will be called sensitive if you appreciate women without sex. Crazy how that works right? You see it on twitter everyday, Rob Hill Sr will give women advice and men will riot because he's not being a scum bag. It's truly amazing to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint. Not even close. I've had my savage days, even then I still always had respect for women. I just don't like the assumptions "oh he just wanna fuck" I feel disrespected by it. You think that's all I'm capable of wanting? I can't want to love you and care for you? That's impossible? The prejudging is getting old now, I wish it stop. Not to mention, when women think that's all a man wants, as men we think maybe that's all we should want. I mean, if she thinks all men just want to fuck clearly that's what she is use to.. Right? Laws of attraction, if you think that's all men want that's the type of men you will attract. Which will only prove your statement right about men. Just keep a open mind, let me love you without you disrespecting me with your generalizations about men. Know a respectable man when you see one, or hope what you see is a respectable man until proven otherwise. That's all I have, this whole blog probably didn't make sense. But it did to me, so there's that. Be great. 

My Soulmate

My soulmate is probably dead, or in a coma. My soulmate is probably with a fuck nigga who fuck bitches on the side. My soulmate probably keeps her feelings inside. Trying to hide, from past heartbreaks and lies. My soulmate probably scorned as hell. My soulmate probably has a boyfriend in jail who can't make bail. My soulmate probably never noticed me, or friend zoned me openly. My soulmate probably choose to be single. Knowing she wants to love, but feels she is incapable of loving another man. My soulmate probably does everything she can to only look at me as a friend. That's life tho. My soulmate might be reading this respecting my penmanship. Thinking the same thing about me shaking her head and calling me a hypocrite. Maybe my soulmate is you. 

Letter X

I think about you daily, it's drives me crazy. I don't want to steer myself wrong on this road, that leads nowhere. My gps says I'm going in the right direction, but the road is stranded. But I have faith you'll be at the end of the road. I just wish you had faith in me like I have faith in you. Everyone says have patience zoo, but that's a little to late to do. Bc my clumsy ass already fell, my heart is where you dwell. And I just can't get over you. Maybe I'm crazy, but you understand me. Or maybe I'm just so far gone I can't see the obvious. Possibly. But either way you've done a lot for me, somehow you got to me. And made my heart your property. Honestly. And it kills me to admit it, but you really have me tripping. I make mistakes, but I'm human. Maybe more than others, that's results of being emotionally attached. I just wanna get back. To you would be nice, or even over you back to where I was at. I didn't choose love, love chose me. The more I fight it the more I love. But I guess that's something your not to familiar with. Yet I still feel you're worth  building with. I hate that I love you, but that's life. Sometimes you look like the enemy, the next min my wife. But fuck all this shit, I'll be fine. Even if I can't make you mine, you'll stay on my mind. Bc pus*y isn't hard to get, but love. Love is hard to find.  But fuck you, I love you.

"Just F*cking"

Hello ladies and gentleman, it's been a minute but I'm back like I left my car keys. Bars. But on a serious note, let's discuss this whole "cutty buddy" thing that everyone loves...

Nowadays, men and women aren't looking for a relationship for varies reasons. At this point in their life they are just looking for someone they can be intimate with. Or a "cutty buddy" if you will. But are their lines that shouldn't be crossed in this type of relationship? The main point of this type of relationship is to just get a nut, right? That's all fine and dandy, but if you only want a nut you probably should just masturbate. These types of relationships work, but most of the time they fail horribly. Why? Well, because people aren't meant to be used strictly for sex. We're talking about human beings here, not play toys. Emotions will get evolved, maybe not from both parties but their will be emotions and feelings. Is that a bad thing? Not at all. It's natural for us to develop feelings for someone we're intimate with. That's just life, embrace it.

Now where the problem lies, the denial from the parties involved. In every "cutty buddy" situation, their will be a plethora of nuts and denial. Which adds confusion followed by a dash of of disappointment. Perfect recipe for disaster. The agreement is just sex, nothing else just sex. So when one person involved develops feelings, he/she has to hide them to avoid breaching the contract. But hiding feelings never really works well for anyone. You think you're hiding them but you are not, the way you communicate with your "partner" will change without you even being aware. You will start getting mad at Lil things, Lil things that shouldn't matter if y'all are "just fucking". You smell that? Oh that's just the disaster simmering almost ready to be served.

Now you have feelings and your "cutty buddy" is being a Lil too friendly with someone else. Or are they? In your head yes, In actuality, they're not. Your feelings are making you view things differently at this point. The bad thing is, UOENO it. Disaster is ready to be served. Instead of you communicating your feelings you do everything in your power to fight them off. Them, not only are you fighting your feelings off you're also fighting off the person you're "just fucking". This is when you find reasons to cut that person off, whatever the reason may be. It's a great reason, in your head. Meanwhile, the other person may have feelings too, but of course they weren't communicated. That's the disaster, the lack of communication. Now y'all are not "just fucking" anymore because y'all both had feelings and couldn't be grown enough to communicate them.

Be smart people. If you can't handle this type of relationship don't even get involved in one. And if you do, which you probably will. Communicate and avoid disaster. Great relationships can come out of "just fucking" but it's up to y'all. Once feelings get involved, it's inevitable that y'all situation will end or be taken to another level. It's no in between at this point. Express how you feel, maybe they don't feel the same. But at least then y'all can end on a good note. That's all folks, I've said enough. My hands tired. Be easy, and remember... Sometimes you gotta just let go and let god.

Trusting Her Insecurities Pt. 2(his pov)

He likes her, he likes her a lot. He never fell for a woman like he fell for her before. It's something about her that is different, he can't explain it but he loves it. He can talk to her about anything, he never met a woman he could communicate with on his caliber. He becomes very optimistic of the future with her, he knows she's the one. He knows she appreciates him. His good morning text, his caring heart, the advice he gives her when she's hurt. She appreciates all of it, he knows this. He's happy he is finally appreciated. But then she gets distant, he doesn't know why. She starts to act different toward him and he doesn't have the slightest clue what he's done to her. He doesn't know what to do, he senses something is wrong but just can't put his finger on it. He figures it's something personal. It couldn't be him, he's too caring, he's too nice to her. He knows she feels the same way as him, it's no way he could be the problem. They share a bond that he's sure couldn't be broken. That's when she finally tells him, they should just be friends. he's devastated, how did this happen? What did i do wrong? Was I not there for her enough? These questions plague his mind. How can he fix this? It's no way for him to fix it, and he just won't accept that fact. Now he blames himself, her insecurities have now became his...

Trusting her Insecuritites pt.1

She likes him, she likes him a lot. The bond they share is something she has never experienced. Now she's scared, scared to love, scared of the heartbreak. She has seen this before, she's been in love and lost the very person she loved. But he's different and she knows it, she doesn't trust men from past experiences but it's something about this guy. But she knows better, he's just the same as the rest of them. He's no different, she's just vulnerable. Just the thought of finding someone different that makes her happy made her hopeful. But who is she fooling, all men are the same he's just running game it's no way she should like him. She knows it's something wrong with him, she's been through enough to know that. Why does he text her good morning everyday telling her how beautiful she is? Why does he care when she's hurt? Why does he feel hurt when she feels hurt? Why does he even care? These questions plague her mind, she knows nothing good can come from this. It feels too right, so it has to be wrong. She becomes doubtful, she starts to pick through everything he does to find something. She finds it. In her head she found it, in reality it's nothing. Her insecurities led her to believe he's not the one. Her heart says different. But her heart has been wrong before. She has reached the point of no return, she can't handle it. He's too nice. He's too caring, he treats her too good. She can't take it, she panics. Now she feels like they should just be friends...