Letter X

I think about you daily, it's drives me crazy. I don't want to steer myself wrong on this road, that leads nowhere. My gps says I'm going in the right direction, but the road is stranded. But I have faith you'll be at the end of the road. I just wish you had faith in me like I have faith in you. Everyone says have patience zoo, but that's a little to late to do. Bc my clumsy ass already fell, my heart is where you dwell. And I just can't get over you. Maybe I'm crazy, but you understand me. Or maybe I'm just so far gone I can't see the obvious. Possibly. But either way you've done a lot for me, somehow you got to me. And made my heart your property. Honestly. And it kills me to admit it, but you really have me tripping. I make mistakes, but I'm human. Maybe more than others, that's results of being emotionally attached. I just wanna get back. To you would be nice, or even over you back to where I was at. I didn't choose love, love chose me. The more I fight it the more I love. But I guess that's something your not to familiar with. Yet I still feel you're worth  building with. I hate that I love you, but that's life. Sometimes you look like the enemy, the next min my wife. But fuck all this shit, I'll be fine. Even if I can't make you mine, you'll stay on my mind. Bc pus*y isn't hard to get, but love. Love is hard to find.  But fuck you, I love you.

"Just F*cking"

Hello ladies and gentleman, it's been a minute but I'm back like I left my car keys. Bars. But on a serious note, let's discuss this whole "cutty buddy" thing that everyone loves...

Nowadays, men and women aren't looking for a relationship for varies reasons. At this point in their life they are just looking for someone they can be intimate with. Or a "cutty buddy" if you will. But are their lines that shouldn't be crossed in this type of relationship? The main point of this type of relationship is to just get a nut, right? That's all fine and dandy, but if you only want a nut you probably should just masturbate. These types of relationships work, but most of the time they fail horribly. Why? Well, because people aren't meant to be used strictly for sex. We're talking about human beings here, not play toys. Emotions will get evolved, maybe not from both parties but their will be emotions and feelings. Is that a bad thing? Not at all. It's natural for us to develop feelings for someone we're intimate with. That's just life, embrace it.

Now where the problem lies, the denial from the parties involved. In every "cutty buddy" situation, their will be a plethora of nuts and denial. Which adds confusion followed by a dash of of disappointment. Perfect recipe for disaster. The agreement is just sex, nothing else just sex. So when one person involved develops feelings, he/she has to hide them to avoid breaching the contract. But hiding feelings never really works well for anyone. You think you're hiding them but you are not, the way you communicate with your "partner" will change without you even being aware. You will start getting mad at Lil things, Lil things that shouldn't matter if y'all are "just fucking". You smell that? Oh that's just the disaster simmering almost ready to be served.

Now you have feelings and your "cutty buddy" is being a Lil too friendly with someone else. Or are they? In your head yes, In actuality, they're not. Your feelings are making you view things differently at this point. The bad thing is, UOENO it. Disaster is ready to be served. Instead of you communicating your feelings you do everything in your power to fight them off. Them, not only are you fighting your feelings off you're also fighting off the person you're "just fucking". This is when you find reasons to cut that person off, whatever the reason may be. It's a great reason, in your head. Meanwhile, the other person may have feelings too, but of course they weren't communicated. That's the disaster, the lack of communication. Now y'all are not "just fucking" anymore because y'all both had feelings and couldn't be grown enough to communicate them.

Be smart people. If you can't handle this type of relationship don't even get involved in one. And if you do, which you probably will. Communicate and avoid disaster. Great relationships can come out of "just fucking" but it's up to y'all. Once feelings get involved, it's inevitable that y'all situation will end or be taken to another level. It's no in between at this point. Express how you feel, maybe they don't feel the same. But at least then y'all can end on a good note. That's all folks, I've said enough. My hands tired. Be easy, and remember... Sometimes you gotta just let go and let god.

Trusting Her Insecurities Pt. 2(his pov)

He likes her, he likes her a lot. He never fell for a woman like he fell for her before. It's something about her that is different, he can't explain it but he loves it. He can talk to her about anything, he never met a woman he could communicate with on his caliber. He becomes very optimistic of the future with her, he knows she's the one. He knows she appreciates him. His good morning text, his caring heart, the advice he gives her when she's hurt. She appreciates all of it, he knows this. He's happy he is finally appreciated. But then she gets distant, he doesn't know why. She starts to act different toward him and he doesn't have the slightest clue what he's done to her. He doesn't know what to do, he senses something is wrong but just can't put his finger on it. He figures it's something personal. It couldn't be him, he's too caring, he's too nice to her. He knows she feels the same way as him, it's no way he could be the problem. They share a bond that he's sure couldn't be broken. That's when she finally tells him, they should just be friends. he's devastated, how did this happen? What did i do wrong? Was I not there for her enough? These questions plague his mind. How can he fix this? It's no way for him to fix it, and he just won't accept that fact. Now he blames himself, her insecurities have now became his...

Trusting her Insecuritites pt.1

She likes him, she likes him a lot. The bond they share is something she has never experienced. Now she's scared, scared to love, scared of the heartbreak. She has seen this before, she's been in love and lost the very person she loved. But he's different and she knows it, she doesn't trust men from past experiences but it's something about this guy. But she knows better, he's just the same as the rest of them. He's no different, she's just vulnerable. Just the thought of finding someone different that makes her happy made her hopeful. But who is she fooling, all men are the same he's just running game it's no way she should like him. She knows it's something wrong with him, she's been through enough to know that. Why does he text her good morning everyday telling her how beautiful she is? Why does he care when she's hurt? Why does he feel hurt when she feels hurt? Why does he even care? These questions plague her mind, she knows nothing good can come from this. It feels too right, so it has to be wrong. She becomes doubtful, she starts to pick through everything he does to find something. She finds it. In her head she found it, in reality it's nothing. Her insecurities led her to believe he's not the one. Her heart says different. But her heart has been wrong before. She has reached the point of no return, she can't handle it. He's too nice. He's too caring, he treats her too good. She can't take it, she panics. Now she feels like they should just be friends...